The Right Tool
As every mechanic and restorer knows the right tools are invaluable to doing the job properly. Below is a list of common tools and their uses. Even experienced restorers/mechanics may find something useful in this list.
HAMMER - Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit. Also very good for locating thumbs in the way of the necessary task. Comes in various sizes and is colloquially known as a taco-meter or whack-ohmmeter.
COLD CHISEL - A most ingenious tool that makes superman look as if he is standing still. Once used in conjunction with the above hammer it can fly to great distances across the room thus denting anything in its flight path.
STANLEY/MECHANIC'S KNIFE - Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works best on those cartons containing seats, rare gaskets and seals. Also used for removing the outer coating on electrical wire. This is after you have had 3 attempts at first, and cut the copper wiring also, thereby shorting your original wire by 6 inches.
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL - Normally used for spinning steel pop rivets in their holes but is also works for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line to the rear wheels. These sometimes comes with an automatic cord rewind that only works when your drill jams in the fender holes and warps the edge.
CORDLESS DRILL - An advanced equivalent of the above electric drills and performs near exactly the same. Has a unique habit of running out of battery power half way through the last hole.
PLIERS - A tool used for rounding off bolt heads.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS - Primarily used on British cars and trucks, now used for impersonating that lost 9/16, 1/2 socket that cannot be found. [Most likely stored with the hacksaw blades.] Also good for tapping on, when installing or removing seals.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH - Used almost exclusively for igniting any rags or flammable object in the workshop. It is handy for igniting the grease in brake drum when you are trying to remove the seal.
DRILL PRESSES - An upright device that snatches the object being drilled from your hand thus smacking you in the chest, knocking over your beer and splattering the contents over anything freshly painted. Has a very good habit of snapping your best, and last in that size, drill bit.
WIREWHEELS - Cleans off rust from old bolts. Once the job is done it will snatch the bolt from your grip and fling/file it in some small nook underneath the bench thus ensuring it is stored safely away. Also good for removing calluses from your hands as you hold the bolt. Can be over zealous at this job sometimes.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK - Used for lowering a truck to the ground after you have installed your new front brakes. Job is finished only when the jack handle is wedge firmly inside the wheel guard.
8FT LONG, 2X4 - A handy tool used for levering truck off of the jack amongst many of its uses.
TWEEZERS - Used for removing residue from previous tool. Also good for picking up that small screw that is unmanageable with the average males fingers.
PHONE - Used to call neighbour or friend to see if they can loan you a hydraulic jack to remove yours once all else fails.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER - Used for spreading mustard or pickles on your sandwich it is useful for removing old gasket residue. Another use is for removing doogy doo from your boots once you have realized it's on your boots after sitting in our newly re-upholstered truck.
VICE GRIPS - Another tool used for rounding off bolt heads. Can also be used for transferring intense heat derived from welding, to the palm of your hand and also as a hammer in an emergency. This tool, as its name implies, can at times exceed its job description and latch on strongly in its clasp any object therefore turning a one handed job into a two handed job as you try to pries the jaw release levers apart.
HACKSAW - One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transform all human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion with the more you attempt to influence its course, the more lost it becomes. Its main workings habitably shorten themselves, so it is wise to have a spare put away so it won't get lost thus ensuring