Sometimes Sayings.

If going into space for 3 minutes makes you an astronaut, I'm a gynaecologist.

@wee-allis it is considered poor form to brag on this forum. 

You blokes are funny blokes tonight


Paul

We can't help it if he's a stayer!

ME
I think I spoiled my diet yesterday.
YOU
How come?
ME
I had eggs for breakfast on Easter Sunday.
YOU
Scrambled or poached?
ME
Cadbury.

It is election time again in Australia.

The political parties know that most of their voters are "rusted on" who vote for the same party every time, so their advertising and announcements are aimed at "swinging voters" who are likely to change the person they vote for.  Beware of "promises" that are not all that the seem to be. Beware of any that are said to start in a few years' time (after the next election) or will only last for a few months or one year. 

No matter who you vote for, you do not have to follow their How-To-Vote card, think about your preferences.

I am proud to be a swinging voter and I vote for whoever I think will be best for the majority of people.  I never follow anybody's how to vote card but carry a list of which order I want to number my preferences because the polling papers often do not give the party or all the names of the candidate.

Some quotes:-
Entrenched belief is never altered by the facts.
Dick Francis, Welsh born British champion jockey and distinguished Author.

If there is an idiot in power, the people who voted for him are well represented.
Attributed to Mahatma Ganghi.

Also in the saying, "my mind is made up, don't confuse me with facts"
or
"My father voted or them, so I do"
or
"I have always voted for them"

Be your own man (or woman) and make sure your vote goes where YOU want it to go.

In my electorate (Nicholls) three parties have put up candidates that don't live in the electorate. These candidates live in  Flowerdale, Maldon and Altona. The Altona person doesn't see the need for an office in the electorate "as everything can be done online" and one of the candidates thinks Echuca Wharf is part of the Swan Hill Pioneer settlement. Some of these candidates are from major parties.
I guess that's the last 3 places on the ballot paper filled.

I don't think it really matters where they live (we have a candidate who has lived for 10 years one street away from the border of the electorate where he is standing. Idiots are baying for his blood because he does not sell up and buy a house in the next street)

This is a Commonwealth election to to have a government to run the business of the entire nation and the bloke from Bairnsdale  must give equal weight to the people of Broome in national matters. There is often the time when any politician must sacrifice the will of his local electorate for the greater good of the whole nation. Don't worry, the spin doctors will have written his script of explanation as he does his whirlwind tour in a hard hat turning the first sod on a new factory that the government had absolutely zero input or support, handing out junior footy jumpers and drinking tea at retirement villages.

Any possible preferential expenditure for his electorate over all the others (other than saying what a great place it is) raises questions of pork-barrelling and a corruption scandal. That is why we have state governments and local councils who are tasked with much more direct representation of an electorate population. State reps still need the big picture much of the time while council ward reps can almost give local and full council matters equal opportunity.

You may vote for a shire councillor because she is nice or you like her personal agenda and she will get your gutter fixed or support your desire for a second rubbish bin. In this election we are voting for a national management team for 25,000,000 people. Any local matters are entirely secondary and in 90% of matters dealt with your rep must give equal weight to the full 151 electorates. Even those on a mission like the Greens and Teals believe their program is for the greater good and should be similarly restrained from favouring their own direct voters - good luck with that.

Another one from the internet. I have "Australianized" one word because I do not speak American:-

May your day go fast,
your socks match,
and your underwear not ride up your backside.


 

That might be bad Morris, but personally I find falling out the sides far more disquieting.