Sometimes Sayings.

What is a con artist's truck towed with? A pickup line

A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.

A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.

Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.

A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.

What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers? Lorry-el

My Dad drove a truck for 32 years. He was terrible with directions.

Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.

Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.

Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.

Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.

The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck. I was crushed by the news.

A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.

Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.

The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes. Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...

Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.

I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment. It went off without a hitch.

It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.

Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.

What made the truck driver finally stop farting? He ran out of gas.

Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.

If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over... did he just bust a move?

I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.

Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.




 

Some good one liners there Lang

Another one from the internet:-

Visiting Cape Verdi instead of the Canary Islands is a bit like buying a Fiat and expecting a Ferarri.

A serious one for a change. I am selling my 1996 Mercedes Benz 23oE sedan. 4 cylinder petrol automatic. Model W210 that was current until about 2003. Registered until 18/9/2025.
It has several things wrong with it, including Wipers not working, (may be only a fuse) 
numberplate lights not working, ignition switch worn, drivers seat difficult to adjust, rust in front passenger door, plastic bumpers broken. But what do you expect in a Mercedes Benz for $500?

It has done about 300.000 kilometres and is the "Excellence" model.

Hi,

can you create a separate post in the For Sale section for the car you are selling.

Terry

Yep, put it under For Sale.
Sorry.
Morris.

I remember seeing a sign on a farmers gate many years ago, “No matter what the cows say, they are not allowed out”. PLEASE CLOSE THE GATE.

A Canadian Psychologist is selling videos that show how intelligent your dog is.
If you spend $12.99 for the video, that proves that your dog is smarter than you.

Attributed to the American TV personality, Jay Leno.

Friends had a property bordering the Alpine National Park. Cows would make their way up into the high country each season, even after the grazing was banned. On receiving a complaint call from the NP ranger, friend replied, “I told them not to go in there”.

On Sunday, I will be going away for twelve days. I will take my laptop computer with me but as usual, it probably will not work while I am away. Please continue without me and I will catch up as soon as possible.

Here is next week's saying:-
Middle age is when you start looking fondly at the young,
and Old age is when you really start resenting the bastards.

From a book by Reginald Hill.

Morris.
 

Enjoy your trip. We are about a week away from being back home. Chilling out in Orange NSW now where top temp is suppose to be 14 but not gone past 10c so far then factor the lazy breeze. Head to Sydney on Sunday for a short stop over.