It is about time for another absolutely true saying:-
I bloke I know,I will call him Billy because that is what he calls himself, had a Grandson who was not able to find a job after he left school. Billy finally asked a mate who employed quite a few people at Newcastle (Grandad that is the one in New South Wales, not the one you know) to give the boy a job, which he did.
A few weeks later Billy met his mate in the pub and asked how the Grandson was doing. Mate said he was on the point of sacking the young bloke because sometimes he arrived at work hours late and sometimes did not show up at all.
Billy asked Grandson what the problem was. Grandson said "But I am a Casual that means I can work when I want to." Billy explained that casual means you work when the Boss wants you, not when you want to.
The Boss said there were no more problems after that.
I have my shoulder to the wheel,
my nose to the grindstone,
I've put my best foot forward,
I've put my back into it,
I'm gritting my teeth,
The perfect lockdown advice from a Japanese doctor!!!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste time on
exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you
live longer; it’s like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster.
Want to live longer? - Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that
means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness
that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. - Bottoms up!
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...very good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more
vegetable be bad?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best
feel-good food around.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is also a shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.
Finally, the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a
journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive
and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand -
chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!!
Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational
speakers deceive you.
1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54.
2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
4. The best footballer in the world Maradona died at the age of 60.
5. The KFC inventor died at 94.
6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102.
8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake.
9. Hennessey Cognac inventor died at 98.
How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and
the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So, take some rest, Chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life.
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