Ol Trucks...we love em!

A day in the life of fullfilling your dream..
Information gather from unknown sources.....


Ay have a look at that ol truck....
it looks like an inter or a ford, could be a bedford, actually it might be a Dodge. probly a '62 or '55 might even be a '37 actually i think its a '77 like the ol man had....
Stick with me here...get a drink..this'll take a while!!

I wouldn't mind one of them ol girls! Tick.. Tick... Tick...
Ebat, for sale 1 'Gadget',1943 or 1965 model good restorer, near complete, practically roadworthy, good for towing, owner too broke busy to finish it.. freight anywhere at your expense, sorry 'Gadget' is 6 tonne, no postage, buy it now $3.20 tax invoice supplied
Call Jerry Jockie for more info
Nahhh sorry mate Buy it now is over, ya have to bid..
Tick ..Tick...Tick
CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE THE WINNING SUCKER BUYER. $6735.37
G'day mate ar Lorry Builder here, i have an old restored truck to get carted from Wheelabarraback to Lizardville..
$3400!!!!!! you gotta be jokin, its only a hobby truck mate! clonk..beep..beep...beep, hmm musta dropped out??
I'll get a tandem and get it meself! theives! not playin that game..
Yer mate...got it home meself! blew 14 tyres, 650 litres of fuel, had to get air shockers put on the datsun too..
but shes home now,, ar that, its only the door. that where the tandem hit it backin in.....
how come its on the front lawn??
Arr the sheds a bit low, i'm gettin a carport built Monday..
Mate! its only a 6 metre high carport! with a pit and overhead gantry and a lube bay! this is for a hobby truck ya know.. Can't ya do it a bit cheaper
clonk..beep..beep...beep, hmm musta dropped out??
Hi Mate Lorry Builder here i've got a, i thinks its either 1954 or 1967 inter, although me mate said it looks like a Foden, and i need the brakes adjusted a bit..
Yerr Mate, Bazz from the brake joint here...ya Thames is ready...stops on a dime now! $3465.25!!!
Are you serious! its only a hobby truck, i bearly drive it..
Noisy in here isn't it...arrr its not too bad, i'm gunna insulate it though..
Yer Lorry Builder here i'm lookin for some pink batts for me ol truck, nah mate, ya need this trendsetter soundproof, fireproof, solvent proof every other thing proof stuff we got here..yep i'll take 1.3 metres thanks, nah mate it only comes in 345 metre rolls, $42.65 a metre... you'll be able to use the rest on something else though...like insulating Tasmania!
Geez it doesn't go real fast mate..yerr i know its getting a tune up in two weeks...
Shes all tuned mate but mate the diff ratio is 13.67: 1, ya gunna need a set of 2.4:1's for it...
Then she'll really go!
Arr is that Midlands? arr Sarge sent me...i'm lookin for a set of 1.7:1 disc ratios.. hang on....
Sorry mate we just sold the last set, 17 years ago....
anywhere else i can try???? Try the other 9 million wreckers in Australia, they shouldn't have one either!!!
Nahhh i think its the clutch slippin mate...i'll get it adjusted...Yes mate your '67 Austin is ready, we had to tidy up a few extra things while we were under there...but shes good to go now..$2453.34
Me clutch is still slippin mate...nahh thats ya gear ratio, ya gunna need a joey box or an 18 peed roadranger...
Sorry mate...the only 26 speed joey we have is in our Texas yard, we can get it in for ya though, should be $1340 plus freight, plus gst plus, import tax plus, customs..that comes to $6548.23 should be in by half past November!!! > >:(Well ya better get it in, i have to have it!
For Sale: 2 kids, lawn mower, 3 dogs and hills hoist, all must go this weekend $6548.23 Owner downsizing (Wallet)
Hi Mate arr Lorry Builder here, i've been restoring a 53 Dodge R190, i am having trouble with my engine, it doesn't seem to have enough power, i'm only pulling a Drake float with 14 Dozers, 7 tractors and 3 steam engines on it, it just doesn't seem to have enough grunt coming up Bulli Pass in 27th gear with the joey in 12th overdrive and the diff in high overdrive split
clonk..beep..beep...beep, hmm musta dropped out??
bloody phone! i'll have to get onto Reamstra to check it, its always droppin out lately.
Have drive of her mate! Geez shes heavy to steer isn't it..nah not really, since i put 1200 pound in the front tyres its better..i'm getting power steering though, me mate has got some off a Ford Lewisville that he reckons will bolt straight on!
Hi mate Lorry Builder again, just wondering if you had an adapter plate to change a left hand drive peterbilt steering box to a right hand drive butterboss Leyland....Bloody phone....

To be continued.......i gotta go to work !!
chocs

Satire at its golden best.

hmmm (scratching chin) this sounds like too many stories I have heard from many different collectors of old machinery of various types.

well done

Bloody good one CHOCS I have heard similar stories before

Good n Chox
Wouldn't B so funny..............but itz tru
LOL

Right about now, might az well slide this one in (again) tiz printer friendly



LOL

oh the truth hurtz

Cya
[ch9786]

LOL! - Well done, Chocs, I reckon a lot of blokes can relate to that yarn!! ..

Interesting reading , can't wait for part two . I noticed that the guy in question has'nt been told that the part does'nt come off or fits that model !

Continued...................

What luck! have a look at this! Epay item 100467465475673645.........
This bloke has a seller rating of 22%..bit of bad feedback, should be ok though....the bad feedback was probably written by someone who doesn't understand trucks like i do!
This looks perfect! i'll buy this!!
....Complete power steering assembly, suit any truck, removed from Komatsu Loader, no further use, loader driver only used it when necessary, perfect condition when it was new. Can arrange postage to all states.
Item located at Sandsville WA
Buy it now...$750 USD
Buy it now confirmed, proceed to checkout....
Wow! cheep freight too! this bloke is a legend!
Whats a ZIP?????..please enter a 5 digit zip code?
maybe they want a 0 at the start, or at the end?
Hmmmm........bugger this i'm ringin him..........
WHO THE $%*&^^&*& IS THIS?! ITS 3 IN THE MORNING!!!! Arr i just bought the steering of ya on Epay..i've got a mate in Perth that can pick it up for me...
Perth? wheres Perth? C'mon mate don't mess with me!
ya live in WA and ya don't know where Perth is!??
WA! What planet are you ringin from dude? WA is WASHINGTON ! Washington USA
You should have said that in your ad! you can just refund me right???
Beep beep beeep beeeeeeeeeeeep
Should get me money back, i used Direct Wire Transfer...heaps cheeper than Paywell....
Yer i know .i know, im just researching a few things, thats what the internet is for!
Says here i can fit a 892 whatever that is, to my KB5.....Right! 425 hp, thats what i need...
No more hill problems then.........
Are you sure this is going to fit?
AyY! enough of that! you've obviously never seen me doin a transplant before! Seen it on YOOOCHEWED..
What could possibly go wrong
IT does look a bit tight but WE can cut that piece there off. doesnt look like it connected to anything important...
BAAAAAANNNGGGGGGG!
What was that! You knucklehead, i told ya it was too big!
Well why didn't ya tell me louder...now look what you've done. shoulda done it meself, thats what i get for letting you help me!
I was goin t fit a new dash anyway, gimme that 9" grinder..i'll just trim this a bit..
LOOK OUT LORRY...ITS ON FIRE GET THE HOSE HURRY UP ITS BURNING!!!!!
Never mind i was gunna take out all that head lining anyway, it was the wrong color anyhow...didn't suit the Bowstrung seats anyway, save me taking it out really.. :-[ Plus i'm fitting a sunroof..
Yer gday mate...i was wondering if you had any front air shockers in stock? na i was thinking 4 on each side
Ha Ha Ha yer right mate 4 on each side
What vehicle are they goin on mate?
Its basically a F8000 ford, but is got a lot of new parts, i'm restoring it to original ya know....
So what sort of weight are we talkin over the front axle mate???
Nah im not carrying anything on the front, its a tray truck...Anything i carry will fit on the back or on the trailer!
What GVM is it mate, i can't find anything here on the computer....
Arn't ya listenin! i said its a Ford, not a GVM!

Nah i'm not fitting airshocks after all...that idiot at Superhorn had no idea what i needed, doesn't even know his truck brands!

To be continued


chocs

Great work Chocs.... A few familiar scenarios in there!

...continued

Arr gday mate Lorry Builder here is that Perfection Panels..just chasing some offcuts of paint you blokes might have there...
don't need much, im just restoring a 48 Acco superpoise, probably 20 litres or so of Raging Red if ya had it spare?
I'm doin the job meself..save some cash for other things you know how it is..
I got a quote off you blokes a while back but yas were too dear..
Sorry mate ya breakin up there, what was that?
beeep beep beeeep

Arr gday mate Lorry again..we got beeep beep beeep..
Bugger it! Buntings will have paint, ive got a voucher to use up there..
Yerr mate i just need 20 littles of Rampant Red, im restorin a truck, bringin it back to original...
20 Litres would be around 1400 dollars Sir..what!
What other cheaper stuff do ya have???
Pity i couldn't wallpaper it ay! that'd cover up some rust ay!!
Whats that stuff there...oh thats yellow sir, it was a premix for a customer...15 litres for $225.00, i'll take it...have ya got any brushes on special son?? :
Well not really but we have got this nice little spray unit here..its a run out model, only $535.40 complete..
I'll take it! i might even spray a few of me mates cars...
Specially after they see me truck ay!! i'll have em lined up at the gate..
So have you got primer and sandpaper Sir?
Will i need it? I'm not made of munny ya know..
Ay listen what those little tins there?
They are sample pots Sir...
Better bung about 45 of them in the trolley son...they'll be handy too!
But they are...dont be shy son..bung em in...

Arrr wait till the boys at the Sundrown show see this ol girl they'll be wettin their pants

to be continued....after tea!


chocs