For twenty years I worked with a man whose boast during his time at university was that he could fart within 30 seconds of being asked at any time of any day.
I did not go to university, that is why at half my age, he was paid more than twice my wage. (In case you are wondering, I left school before I turned 16)
I called him "Vesuvius" because his initials were BC and I told everyone that Mount Vesuvius erupted in the year 76BC. (It was really in 76AD, but none of them, despite their university educations, knew that)
I used to say that if he ran a hose from the driver's seat to the carburetor, he could have free fuel for as long as he wanted.
I have my shoulder to the wheel,
my nose to the grindstone,
I've put my best foot forward,
I've put my back into it,
I'm gritting my teeth,
Now I find I can't do any work in this position!
