Not funny

Swiped this of another forum, might tickle a few ribs!



The Great Dane with the Dodgy Gut
Title says it all really.

When I was a little sproglet, we had a lovely lump of a Great Dane that was about twice my height. Beautiful, lovely, friendly, soft, gentle creature. Unfortunately he had an inherited stomach problem - basically it meant that things would fly through him, and he had an absolutely enormous appetite, which lead to a propensity to eat whatever he could find. To this day, I sleep in late - purely because as a child you never wanted to be the first one up because of the sheer mountains of dog dump that would confront you downstairs.

Memorable passages include:

1. The entire 4kg tub of margarine he snaffled. This greased him through, and for days was fixed in a squat, ejecting a never-ending stream of arsegravy.

2. When I couldn't find my favourite pair of yellow socks. My mum swore she'd washed them and they were in the clean laundry basket. Three days later I found them, still neatly folded - and in the middle of a gently steaming pile of dog's egg.

But, by far the most memorable:
3. When he managed to nick the remains of a sunday roast. Unfortunately, the bits of elasticated string from the roast were still on the plate. A day or so later, he was wandering around the house with about 6 inches of the elastic hanging out of his bumhole. My dad decides to help out, and grabs the end to tug it out. It's well wedged up the gut, so my dad pulls hard. The end of the greasy elastic slips out of his fingers, and the whole thing snaps back at the hound's ringpiece. I have never, ever, seen an animal move so fast or yelp so loud. He didn't come back for hours, and wouldn't go near my dad for weeks.


regards greenie [smiley=vrolijk_1.gif]

Swiped this of another forum, might tickle a few ribs!

regards greenie [smiley=vrolijk_1.gif]

Tickled mine!! Thanks Greenie!!

Edit ... this is my 1500th post, and now I'm a Local Driver!! [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Well done, both of you. LOL.

Swiped this lot as well, so while on the dog theme, here's another.

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Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for Roscoe, our hunting dog, and was standing in line at Wal-Mart getting ready to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. First thing I thought was

Thats gold Greenie

A few years ago I was walking through 'The Glen' shopping centre when I was approached by someone selling beauty products. "Would you like some makeup for your wife? " they asked. "Sounds like a fair swap, where would you like me to leave her?" Was my reply as i kept walking. The poor young girl just didn't know what to do or say but the old bloke standing bored beside his wife while she took in the sales pitch was laughing.

Why don't Mack put "Built like a Mack Truck" on those bikini's they sell in merchandise?

Swiped again, maybe somebody might raise a smile

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??????





An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know, what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball.

The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does".


regards greenie [smiley=vrolijk_1.gif]