Sometimes Sayings.

The old man lay in his bed. The Doctors could do nothing more for him. He knew he was dying but he was content, he had lived a long, eventful and happy life. His Children and Grand Children had brought their families from near and far to pay their respects and his mates had all come to see him. He could hear them all in the house, trying to keep their noise down, so as not to disturb him.

His loving Wife was busy baking in the kitchen and all sorts of enticing cooking smells wafted through the house. He smelled his very favourite cake (in my case it would be apple pie) and longed to taste one again. With a huge effort, he dragged himself out of bed and put on a dressing gown. He staggered slowly through the house to the kitchen and with delight, saw his favourite. He lifted his hand to take one, when WHACK, a wooden spoon hit it out of his hand. His Wife said "Don't touch those, they are for the wake after the funeral"

I reckon that would be the supreme case of irony!

Thats funy as Morris

Tah muchly for sharing

Paul

Either I have loads of free time, or forgotten what I had to do.

While drifting off to sleep, I often remember all the stuff I was supposed to be doing while I was looking for something to do earlier.

Jarrod.

Me to Jarrod. Then I lie awake half the night worrying about all the things I haven't done, but by the time morning comes I can't remember any of it

My last (true) one from Fred Finucane.

One night the parents next door to Fred and June were away. Their teenage or twenty-something kids had a party. The music and voices got louder and louder. At about one o'clock in the morning, Fred had had enough. He attached a bolt, I think from memory he said it was 5 eighth Whitworth, to a pole and sneaked down the side of their house. He used the bolt to pull the old-fashioned Main Fuse out of its holder. Everything went dark and all the music stopped.

After about half an hour, all the voices had died down and Fred and June got some sleep.

At about 6.30 in the morning, Fred went next door and replaced the main fuse and of course all the lights came back on and the music started again at maximum volume.

There were no more parties at that house!

.
.Just because the wheel isn't squeaking ,it doesn't mean its never going to fall off...……………
………………..Billy...……………….

I was at a barbeque recently and a friend of mine, at least as tall but older and skinnier than me, was asked how he got the cut on his head.
He replied "A Duck"
When quizzed about it, he replied:-
"I should have but I didn't"