Need a few good yarns

On the horse job, 1981.

One trip they sent the two new 9 horse trailers up together, two drivers each.
Good feed and motel stay after unloading, out the next morning so time for
a party. The other truck was to pick up their return load around Doomben.
We had to go out to Dayborough, back through town to drop one mare at
Warwick, then pick up 3 mares at Moree on the way through. That put us
about 2 hours behind the other truck.

The mares at Moree were brought down from Mungindi by the owner in his
stock crate. He's sitting at the loading ramp outside the Moree Racecourse
waiting, only to see the first truck sail straight through. No truck phones, so
he goes to the police station and asks them to get the truck pulled up down
the road. The guys get to Narrabri to be greeted by the local police, so they
pass a message back to Moree that the other truck, ( us ) is on its way.

He's most relieved when we roll in and load his mares for the trip south.
Office guy had not thought to tell him there would be two trucks on the
same day. Both crews were given pick up times, but he had not allowed
for the extra travel time out to Dayborough and back.

So much easier now with mobile phones. Lot of fuss!

I have never had anything to do with Twitter but this truck story and the dry humour of the writer is hilarious.

www.boredpanda.com/rice-story-truck-lorr...utm_campaign=organic

The bloke does indeed have a way with words!

Jarrod.

FUNNY
I would have helped unload for his bottle of scotch, but too far from my block. :blink:

Gotta like the look of that Ashok Leyland, complete with two piece "country style" door and sliding window(?)

You should be starting to fret. About enough time has passed and your next visit to the doctor could involve the dreaded liquid nitrogen on sun spots created by their sunburn so many years ago. Painful!

MRS
Gudday m8

RE: really should take better care of nuts

Diin kno U were into self mutilation

my heart bleeds 4 U

LOL


cya

Paul, don't all us blokes shower with our "tools and toys"?

Paul,
Does that mean there are no welders in a nudist colony?

I hope hope you were at least using a welding mask. I copped a few flashes in the eyes as a young bloke learning to weld and it is no fun. All was fine until that night when I was woken up by what felt some sand being rubbed in my eyes.:ohmy:

Im guessing there's no welders in the nudist colony

I do remember some blokes would weld away to their hearts content with no shirt on, we were a pretty tough mob back in the day, those days are well and truly gone, some might say its good, others won't

All I know is I walked like I had spent far too long on the horse for a few days lol

Paul

This is a customer review for Veet hair removal cream for men.....

5.0 out of 5 stars Veet for men
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 25 January 2019
Size: Pack of 1
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn' have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.
Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg.
Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.
I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn'nt managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.
I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.
This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering arhhh ooooohhh that feels good ahhh Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn'nt heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasent the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.
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