Sometimes Sayings.

LOL

two cowboys sittin @ the bar look n out the front door into street
and see a dog sitn on the foot path liking his private parts
1st cowboy sez
' geeeze wish I could do th@'
2nd Coqboy replys
'You'd need to give him a pat to get friendly with him first '

LOL

cya

From my grandson.


A truck carrying vicks vaporub overturned on the highway, amazingly there was no congestion for 8 hours straight.

When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.


What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck


Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.


A police officer tells a man. "I'm sorry but sir but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck."
And he says "Ya, but she has a great personality."


A truck driver reverses up a mountain road
A policeman stops him and asks: "Why are you driving up backwards?"
Driver replies: "My boss said there's no place to turn around."
A little later the truck comes back down, again in reverse.
The policeman asks: "Why are you reversing down now?"
The driver replies: "The boss is an idiot - I could turn around!"


After driving for 10 hours, a truck driver get pulled over by a police officer
PO: Do you know why you got pulled over?

TD: No not really.

PO: Come on out I’ll show you.

The truck driver get out of his truck and the police officer pointed to the brokers taillight

TD: Oh hell boss is going to kill me!

PO: Its OK, it’s only a small fine.

TD: Damn the tail light, where’s my trailer!?

Another year has passed and we are all a little older
Last summer felt hotter and winter seems much colder
There was a time not long ago when life was quite a blast
Now quite I understand about living in the past
We used to go to football games and lunches
Now we go to nursing homes and after-funeral brunches
We used to go out dining and couldn't get our fill
Now we ask for Doggie Bags, go home and take a pill
We used to often travel to places near and far
Now we get sore backsides from riding in the car
We used to go to nightclubs and drink a little booze
Now we stay at home and watch the evening news

That, my friend is how life is and now my tale is told
So enjoy each day and live it up
Before you are too damned old!

Morris, You're a Poet & Don't know It..

hayseed As I said at the very start of this thread, not many of these sayings are my originals. I cannot take any credit for that poem. I pinched it off something my Wife watches on her computer. I changed a couple of words from American in to English.

?????

Somebody said this, so I will merge it with my life. The bits about my life are all true:-

I started just after my 15th birthday delivering telegrams on my pushbike.
Later I worked as a furniture maker and later again, advised accountants how to fill out forms, then I ran a motel.
After sixty years I retired.

When asked what I had been in between the above, I said:-
"I have been almost everything except a mother or a success."

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.Did you know.....................................????????????????.
Your bum wobbles when you do your teeth................................

........................Billy........................